Missing Out: A Guide To How Cooks Are Born.

 Throughout my time spent in kitchens, I have realized that, there you meet some of the craziest people without having to board a Somali pirate ship or dive head first into the underground world of human trafficking. And whenever I run into a conversation unexpectedly with one of these said crazies, I find there is always one thing in common with all of us: We missed out on at least one very important part of our lives. I've decided to compile everything I have ever missed out on that may or may not have contributed to how I became a cook, or more importantly, a crazy.

1. I've moved more than anyone I know. Some people may be thinking, "that's not missing out." But it is. Moving is horrible for children. If you have children or want to have children, move as little as possible. I have made and lost countless friends due to a lack of rooting myself to a location. Sure, I learned how to make friends as quickly as possible, but I never took the time to figure out how to dive deep into the relationships of people other than my family. Understanding what is a real "Ending" had hit me at a young age. And for that, most of my life revolved around dealing with endings.
2. I missed out on public high school. 

   

   The "Concourse"

   One horribly faked sick day during 8th grade, My dad approached me with an opportunity. He asked what I thought about going to a high school that was different from the rest we were looking at. I really didn't care too much for the idea, but I only had one consistent friend at the time and he went to a different school already. So I gave it a shot. We set up a day for me to tour the school. I was amazed I never noticed it before, considering it was a 5 minute bike ride from my house. When we pulled up, it was a sage green warehouse building with a small parking lot. The warehouse probably had a square footage of a high school gymnasium. The moment I walked through the front doors, I fell in love. There was the front office, but beyond that there was not hallways but a giant open "concourse." A total of 86 students sat at office style desks with Apple computers in front of them, listening to music and eating snacks as they worked on homework. GREATEST PITCH EVER. Little did I know that the Advisers (not teachers) never taught you anything. You were supposed to learn on your own. But how the hell are you supposed to learn on your own when you're 15 with all the distractions you could ever ask for. Sure I tried public school my senior year, but my then it was too late. I messed up. And the only thing I learned was that any place considered a "Charter School" should be avoided at all costs. 
3. I missed out on planning my future with my parents. My parents divorced when I was seventeen. It wasn't that they were too busy learning how to be divorced. I was too busy trying to be mad. I made the first choice that came to me when I graduated high school. All I wanted to do was impress people. I wanted to seem like I was doing fine. I could make it on my own. I moved 6 more times in those two years, enrolled myself in a shitty private art college (Don't go to school for art. No one will ever teach you how to do a keg stand. They are too hipster for that.) and had about 12 more girlfriends. I planned nothing. Never learned how to prioritize. Never knew how to set realistic goals. I just went. I lied a lot about everything. It even got to the point where I was lying about what time I ate my cereal, or how I got to work. I didn't ever want to plan. I just wanted to be apart of the moment. Nothing else. By the time I was done being mad, my time had passed for looking to my parents for help on how to budget my income, or where to find my financial aid office. I just never learned how to ask for real help I suppose.
4. I missed out on being 21.
    Of course I turned 21, but all of my friends were younger than me. I was poor and I already started working in kitchens. So I learned how to hate everyone who spent their Thursday nights in a bar, trying to catch a ride to the sexy, fake bartender serving their drinks house. Yeah, I drank during high school with all of my hippy student peers, but being 21 and stupid never hit me. I think everyone is supposed to lose a certain amount of brain cells before moving on to real adulthood. And now, my head is swollen far past the limit for the golden ratio of my body (take that for all possible ways implied). 

21st birthday at midnight. Working. 

 So when I look at myself in the disgusting employee bathroom mirror and wonder, "how did I get here?" I remember that I chose the life of a cook because I can travel anywhere and find a job. There is no place on this earth (don't be smart-ass) that doesn't have a public place to eat. Everyone wants someone else to feed them at some point and both the beginning and the end are only a ticket time's length apart. I remember that, like my high school experience, I work in small quarters with a small amount of people doing projects. I remember that my future depends on the moment. So as long as I want a future cooking, I have to focus only on the moment. I remember that age never matters in kitchens. Because we are timeless. 

No other career path could be as close of a character representation as that of the culinary world. As much as it sucked missing out on all of those things, I love cooking. So with all of that being said, I'd like to welcome all of you to a poor cook's list of recipes.